How to study abroad like a ninja: Dani's dos and do nots during your time overseas

Being one of the fewer students studying abroad for the entire academic year, I have been eye-witness to the awkward stage of post-study abroad known as "reverse culture shock" that many of the first-semester returnees are now experiencing in full force. 

LET THE THROWBACK THURSDAY EIFFEL TOWER PICTURES BEGIN!! 

For those of you who don't know, reverse culture shock is the mental and emotional slump an ex-patriot experiences when she returns home after studying in a foreign county and has to re-adjust all over again. 

You can see the general effects of culture shock and reverse culture shock here....

...Although many people will say that the general stages of culture shock are more similar to this:

In any case, I have heard a whoooolllle lot of sentiments expressed this past month by returnees, including the following: 

"I wish I could go back to South Africa, I miss the people so much."

"The food there was just SO much better. I'd kill to eat some real Italian gelato instead of this crap!"

"I'm already planning on going back to Australia next summer. Four months was just not enough time."

"I don't feel like I truly valued my time abroad, and now it's already over."

"The U.S. is just not the same." 

"Did I really use my time abroad to the max??"

After listening to countless memories, muses, complaints, regrets, and plenty of "when I lived in Europe" statements, I started thinking about how students can fully utilize and value their time abroad so that they aren't (too) sad when faced with the prospect of coming back home. 

Thus, I came up with the following list based on my study abroad experience that I believe to be the most important things to do and not to do in order to maximize time while abroad, minimize regrets when returning come home, and basically just have a great experience à l'étranger. 

Keep in mind that I am not Jesus (no matter how epic my bed-sheet dress and illusory beard are) and that some of these may not apply to you or your particular  study abroad program. 

• Eat as much local food as financially feasible.

I will not be lying when I tell you that I dream about living in a heaven made of mountains of cheese, rolling hills of freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookies, and complete with pistachio ice cream winters. I love food, and particularly the buttery, rich food of France (although I am not so fond of the minuscule serving sizes. What is this, a dessert for ANTS?). 

In fact, I love food just about as much as this turtle loves food. 

Food is very much a part of every culture, so discover it while you can! Ditch the diet for a while, forget the veganism temporarily if you can stomach the thought (hehe), and bon appétit!! 

Just don't spend all your money eating out. Because that's bad. 

• Don't be that stupid drunk foreigner. Just don't. 

We all know that ***hole who gets black-out wasted every weekend, skips class, gains forty pounds from inhaling ten mojitos and twenty cookie shots in one night, and then chuckles with his friends about "that time at study abroad" after coming home... as if getting plastered was the entire purpose of living in a foreign country for four months. 

I'm all for having drinks and a good time with friends, but please remember that you are a representative of your home country. Besides, what's the point of going abroad if you're not even going to remember most of the experience? Keep the drinking to a moderate level and remember that you have your entire life to drink and maybe only those few months now to live abroad. Don't kid yourself into thinking that you're "living it up at study abroad" by partying all the time. You're just making yourself look like a tool and wasting time hungover that you could be spending on a day trip to Maui. 

Only cows are cute while inebriated. Also squirrels. 

• Choose to study abroad for a year.

Essentially every single person I know who went home at the end of their semester abroad said that three-five months was not enough time, particularly for those individuals learning a language. If you can fit it in to your 4-year academic plan, take the leap of faith and go abroad for the year. 

Staying for the second semester has easily been one of the best decisions of my life -- not only has my French drastically improved between now and the start of the academic year, but I'm also in a relationship with a local that simply would not have happened if I had left in December (see bullet point below on dating a local). 

Staying for the year gives you the opportunity to travel more, see more, and do more in a place you may never get the chance to return to. 

Also, saying you lived in a foreign country for a whole year sounds a heck of a lot more bad ass than one semester.

In other words... YOU COOL BRO.

See? Even Jesus approves of your decision to study abroad for a year!

• Become involved.

Study abroad is hard, I know. It's wayyy outside of your comfort zone, and sometimes it's just so NICE to watch House of Cards on Netflix for a few hours on Monday... and Tuesday.... and Thursday... and Friday....

Woah. Haaaannnggg on there, bud. Put the earphones away, put on some pants, eat anything other than boxed pasta for dinner and Walk. Out. The. Door. 

I have known FAR too many people who have gotten trapped in the cycle of doing what is comfortable while in their foreign country of study... and that translates into doing absolutely nothing. They were isolated, never attempted to make friends (or didn't make friends upon arrival and immediately stopped trying), and never did anything outside of class that could even be remotely considered awesome. And guess what? They regret it. 

My best advice is to do something that scares the shit out of you. Sign up for cooking classes. Join the choir. Climb the nearby mountain range. Strike up a conversation with your neighbor. At minimum, just go for a walk. It may not seem like much, but you are bound to find more adventure hitting the streets than sitting in your dorm picking your nose all day. 

• Don't forget mom and dad.

Or your aunt, or your brother, or your best friend, or whoever. Just because you have gone far away does not give you the right to drop your responsibility to stay connected with those who love you the most. Yes, study abroad is busy, and yes, many people often go to a foreign country to escape the confines of their family life. Nevertheless, make the effort to communicate with your loved ones as much as possible. They love you and miss you. Let them know that you love them too!

A McLean Family photo from the Stone Age.

• Drop the pre-conceived notions.

Do everything you can do refrain from using common stereotypes, like "the French are lazy" or "the British have bad teeth" or "Chileans are always late" or "all Asians are super smart." Basically, just stay away from using any descriptors that include the words "all," "always," or "never" when talking about a culture because you are making a pre-judgment of an entire group of people without knowing it to be true. 

Firmly rooting yourself in pre-conceptions will make you seem ignorant, rude, and unable to adapt and be sensitive, and it will certainly not win you any friends. Instead, be open-minded. Insist on the fact that everyone is different, just like everyone you know in your home country is vastly different even with the same nationality. 

On that note, don't create this idea in your head about how exactly study abroad is supposed to be before you go. Ditch the checklist -- or at least part of it -- and embrace living in the novelty of the present. It doesn't hurt to have specific things you want to accomplish or sites you want to see while abroad -- in fact, I would encourage you to at least somewhat consider your objectives for your time abroad and write them down. What I don't want is that you get so constrained by your to-do list that you leave no room in your life for other awesome things that may pop up that perhaps you weren't counting on. Expect change, and lots of it, and learn to love the unknown because basically everything in life is unknown and you can't hide in a cardboard box in fear until you die. 

• Date a local. 

Easier said then done, BUT!!! If given the chance to smooch on that Spanish guy in class you've had your eye on or the macho Italian that has your panties in a twist...

  DO IT.

Not only is it a great way to learn a language (if that is one of your study abroad objectives), but it's also a great opportunity to love, laugh, and gain some insight on the inner workings of a culture and the inside of his pants. Relationships don't have to stop just because you're in a foreign country. Bring on the international lovin', and who knows? You may just find that Brie suits your taste better than Kraft American. 

My chéri and me attempting to take a selfie with a giant tower in the background. Success? I think yes.

Last but certainly not least.....

• Never lose your spirit for adventure. 

During and ESPECIALLY after study abroad, remember that, with a little bit of gumption, some hard work and financial planning, you can always travel more. There is always a new path to explore, an airplane to take, and an unknown delicacy to be enjoyed. I find that once many people start careers, get married and have families, they loose that spark of life in them, that glimmer of curiosity and free spirit. We're only on this Earth for such a short amount of time -- don't waste it in an office (unless that's really your goal in life. If so, I congratulate you for finding your personal happiness!!). Don't get bogged done by what you perceive is expected of you and your life. Instead, GO OUT THERE and make your life using your own cookbook. Do what you love, and find every excuse to smile. 

If you've studied abroad, what other key pointers would you add to the list?? What would you take off?

Let me know and I can incorporate your ideas into this post!

Love,

D