Venice, Florence, Milan... mio Dio!!

Oh, Italy... such great memories we will have of our time spent there. 

I do not even know how I will begin to recap all of the amazing and crappy things that have happened to us since being in Italia, so I will turn to a technique that all bloggers know and love: MAKING LISTS!!

Highlights and Lowlights of Italy

1. Jessica and I (or, more appropriately, just Jessica) got into a fierce debate about gun control, abortion, and women's rights with a Catholic Belgian man in Florence while listening to a street-performing violinist next to the Duomo.

2. I got robbed in the subway of Milan. Although it was only about 8 euros, it was by a Gypsy woman who was "helping" us get tickets for the metro (although we did NOT want help, nor did we ask for it). 

3. We ate some of the best ravioli of our lives for lunch in Florence. While eating that ravioli, the owner of the restaurant came up to us, pointed at a bug bite on Jessica's right boob and said, "Oh, is that a mosquito bite? Me want to be a mosquito toooo!" and promptly walked away. 

Bleu cheese and pear, mmmm. 

4. We purposefully lost ourselves in the winding alleys and canals of Venice. 

5. We quickly learned that Italian men are some of the most attractive people in the entire world. 

6. Italian men REALLY like Jessica. 

7. Due to the incredible lack of access to public toilets in Europe and an absolutely killer need to empty our bladders, Jessica and I both resorted to peeing in some Venetian bushes late Thursday night. 

8. We learned this major lesson: DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING from street vendors. They will give you something as a "gift," and right when you think they are going to leave you alone they will demand money for what they "give" you. 

9. We decided that sculptors and other artists were far too intrigued with male genitalia, and that henceforth, we have dubbed Florence as "the city of penis." 

David likes to hang loose.

Perseus is ready to party. 

...Need I post more??

10. While visiting the inside of the Duomo in Florence, we were forced to pay for, and wear, these horrible blue smocks in order to be more "appropriately" modest in the church, even though we were wearing fairly full-coverage shorts. Needless to say, no man in the church was forced to wear one, even those who were wearing tank tops, which were allegedly not allowed just like shorts. So, in a form of feminist protest, I promptly tucked the smock into my shorts and continued to proudly broadcast my legs for all of God's house to see.

11. People-watching in tourist cities is the best. 

12. We accidentally bought gelato at a gelateria that was ridiculously expensive. 10 euros for two scoops of gelato?!?! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! 

13. We saw a jellyfish in the canals of Venice. It was white, very round, and very cool. 

14. It took us ten minutes to open one bottle of wine in a Venetian courtyard. With myself holding the bottle down with two hands and my thighs, Jessica stood and yanked the cork out, much to the amusement of the other tourists in the area. 

We are woman. We strong!

15. We learned to never, ever, ever, ever... EVER take a night train in a "couchette" cabin again, particularly from Munich to Venice. Seriously, folks, only take a night train if you can sleep in a bed. We didn't get a wink of sleep because six of us were packed into this tiny compartment into seats that you could not even adjust. Somehow in the middle of the night, I managed to fit my entire body under one of the seats just so I could stretch out. That was skill. 

16. Jessica and I sang duets like "Love is an Open Door" from Frozen and "Elephant Love Medley" from Moulin Rouge on a stairway in Venice, much to the delight of everyone else (hehehe). 

17. Our ability to navigate foreign cities, train stations, and subways drastically improved over the course of the week (of course, anything was better than our previous navigation skills in Germany...)

This is not an exhaustive list, by any means. We have so many stories to tell, we could probably write a book...that no one would ever read but us!

We may have had some low points this week (like being robbed) and others not even mentioned here, but we have had even more amazing high points. The thing is, whenever Jessica and I are together, it's hard to have low points. She is the Bonnie to my Clyde, the Elsa to my Ana, the Samwise Gamgee to my Frodo, and the Batman to my Robin. No matter what happens, we know we can get through whatever trial comes our way as long as we're together.

WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO??

Tomorrow, we crazies take a train to Nice, France. IT'S BEACH TIME, BRO. 

Hugs to you all. 

Dani

P.S. Happy birthday to my wonderful, supportive father. We may be thousands of miles apart, but know that I am thinking of you and I love you.